BTh2 student Siphamandla Sithole reflects on the contemporary practice of lobola and the financial burden it brings, which he believes poses a significant challenge to the biblical vision of marriage. GWC faculty member Rev. Sivuyile Lurai weighs in on why he believes this rich African tradition still holds great value today…
Siphamandla: “Historically, lobola was a symbolic gesture of appreciation and honour from the groom to the family of the bride. It expressed gratitude for raising a daughter and signified the uniting of two families through the marriage of their children. This often involved the gifting of a few cattle or goats, and the celebration that followed served to strengthen social bonds between the extended families. In its original context, lobola reflected values of respect, unity, and community all of which align with biblical principles. However, the practice, as it exists today, has undergone a significant transformation. It has become, in many cases, an expensive and transactional negotiation, often driven by financial gain rather than relational honour. What was once a cultural symbol of familial unity has, sadly, become a stumbling block for many young people seeking to honour the Lord through marriage.
For many, the required lobola amount, sometimes exceeding R60,000, is simply unattainable, especially in a country facing deep economic challenges. This financial burden is compounded by expectations of both traditional and Western-style weddings. As a result, many young believers are forced to either delay marriage indefinitely, opt for civil unions devoid of family support, or, most troubling of all, abandon the idea of marriage altogether leading to cohabitation, unwed parenthood, and other forms of relational instability. This trend has grave implications for the Church and for society. It weakens the foundation of the family, which Scripture consistently presents as the God-ordained environment for nurturing children, modelling covenantal love, and sustaining moral order (Genesis 2:24; Deuteronomy 6:6–7; Ephesians 6:1–4).
I believe that, as future pastors and church leaders, we need to be equipped to address this common dilemma for young Christian couples in Africa with clarity, compassion, and biblical faithfulness. If we are serious about building strong families and discipling the next generation, we must be willing to challenge traditions that have drifted from their original purpose. We must be both respectful of our heritage and resolute in our commitment to the gospel. Cultural identity should never come at the expense of obedience to Christ.”
Sivuyile: “I agree with Siphamandla that, when people are involved, any good thing can be turned into an opportunity for gain or greed, and this requires much wisdom and prayer to navigate. I would however affirm the continued practice of lobola, which is deeply embedded in African culture and, which, when conducted in the intended ‘spirit of lobola’, serves as a positive gesture towards honouring the parents and family of one’s future wife. The negotiations should be an enjoyable process filled with good humour. Yes, raising the required amount is a challenge, but I have advised young men who I’ve counselled pastorally to see it as one of many future obstacles that they will need to overcome in marriage – at least this is one that they have not been directly involved in bringing about! I also remind them that they are the ones wanting to get married and driving the process, no one is forcing them to do this. In many cases the full amount of lobola can be settled post-marriage; and the beauty of African culture is that family members often contribute gifts towards helping raise it. What is the price of lobola compared to the gift of a wife, second only to Christ? I would disagree that lobola causes couples to fall into sin, this happens because they are tempted by their desires and give in to this temptation, regardless of other factors.”
Read more about working towards a gospel-centred view of lobola in GWC alumnus Dr Primrose Makumbini’s article “To Lobola or Not to Lobola” on The Gospel Coalition Africa. Dr Makumbini completed her Masters in Theology at GWC before doing a PhD in Theology with Pastoral Studies through NWU. She currently serves as a lecturer at Harare Theological College in Zimbabwe.